Blizzard will finish weekly scheduled maintence on time..... some day... wait nevermind, being on time for them is being 5hours behind. 

You want to hear something fun.
 
My Boss at work calls me the King of (Censored)
But my customers think I know everything there is to know about Bicycles.
 
Jokes on you customers. King of (Censored) I am :)
 

The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

Candle great give away.Now for the funny
 
 
 
A blonde walk into a bar..........Well you know it ends bad for her and very funny for us.So make up you own punch line

what? are you kidding me on this? this is such a sick giveaway. thank you for the opportunity.
 
i don't really have a funny story. sorry, i don't want to post things from the internet just seems like an easy way out.
 
ok kinda funny story, i will say these components will give me something to do in between hospital visits. i have 3 relatives in the hospital at the moment my father, step father and an aunt. 2 of which are in the same hospital somehow. funny going to visit my dad i hear voices that sounded familiar. it was my cousin and uncle. i go back to the room i heard them in and there was my aunt. it seems she had some heart problems and was there getting tests and all.
 
i than got a call from another cousin that our aunt was in the hospital. i told him i know i'm here visiting her. it took him a moment to figure out how i found out faster than him and got there already. i finally had to tell him my dad is 5 rooms down the hall from her and i heard them all in the room. just listening to my cousin talk aloud what he was thinking had us laughing.
 
so when i go to visit my dad i can visit her for a little bit. than take a 40min + ride down the highway to see my step father.

As pretty much everyone else has stated; this is just such an awesome gesture!! Pretty much hard to believe, and good luck to everyone!!!
 
The funny part:
 
A horse walks into a bar and the bar tender asks; "why the long face!"

Two elderly women were in a beauty parlor getting their hair done, when in walked a young chick with a low-cut blouse that revealed a beautiful rose tattooed on one boob.

One woman leaned over to the other and said, "Poor thing. She doesn't know it, but in 50 years she'll have a long-stemmed rose in a hanging basket."

I have no chance of winning xD. First off dude, you're great for this, this joke right here is a real knee slapper.
Knock knock
Who's there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you glad I didn't say banana! Hahahahahaha!

Super Sweet! As many have said before thanks a lot for doing this!
That said this is my entry:
 
 

bro i got a whole load of funny for you
http://www.nittidropandat...mp;t=113&start=150
 
my favorite i guess:
http://sphotos.xx.fbcdn.n...97394_1107479544_n.jpg

Considering it's one small thing after another with my rig going wrong atm I'll give this a try.
 
  Shykal: Darn it you're gonna make me attack the bags of chips in the pantry if you keep munching ships  
  Shykal: *chips, darm it you're not a Kracken  
Madrias starts almost snorting chips from lol-ing
 
A fail or win, I'm not sure, typo I made IMing Madrias a few days ago, he really did almost shoot chewed chips through his nose.
 
I've made him shoot pizza through his nose before, to which he said "Now my nose feels crunchy.", It's getting to be fun to see if I can make him laugh hard enough to shoot or snort something out of his nose.

This is an awesome giveaway. Super nice of you man.
I could really use a new system. And I already have a case.
 

Super Awesome of you candle!!
Good things are coming your way sir :)
 
"Good Friends Never Let You Do Stupid Things Alone!"

What's the difference between a dead lawyer and a dead skunk in the road ?  The skunk had skid marks infront if him .
You rock candle_86 , so awsome of you !!

Nice deal for the winner, and here we go:
 
What's the difference between a porcupine and a porsche?
With a porcupine the pricks are on the outside.  

(nice edit lol )

WOW , amazing gift. Thanks for the chance.
 
...and now the joke story...
 
 
 

Stupid people fearing

WANTED FOR ATTEMPTED MURDER (actual AP headline) Linda Burnett, 23, a resident of San Diego, was visiting her inlaws, and while there, she went to a nearby supermarket to pick up some groceries.

Several people noticed her sitting in her car with the windows rolled up and with her eyes closed, with both hands behind the back of her head. One customer who had been at the store for a while became concerned and walked over to the car.

He noticed that Linda's eyes were now open, and she looked very strange. He asked her if she was okay, and Linda replied that she'd been shot in the back of the head, and had been holding her brains in for over an hour.

The man called the paramedics, who broke into the car because the doors were locked and Linda refused to remove her hands from her head. When they finally got in, they found that Linda had a wad of bread dough on the back of her head.

A Pillsbury biscuit canister had exploded from the heat, making a loud noise that sounded like a gunshot, and the wad of dough hit her in the back of her head. When she reached back to find out what it was, she felt the dough and thought it was her brains. She initially passed out, but quickly recovered and tried to hold her brains in for over an hour until someone noticed and came to her aid.

And, yes, Linda is a blonde.

Very cool. I know my sense of humor maybe a little different but these made me rofl...

Could really use a new system considering the troubles im facing with my current system :( God Bless for you for your amazing giveaway, that's really so generous ! :) Thanks for the opportunity mate :) 
 

---

Wife: Would you Re-marry if I die?
Husband: Definitely NOT !
Wife: Why Not? Don't You Like Being married?
Husband: Ofcorse I do 
Wife: Then why wouldn't you re-marry?
Husband: OKAY OKAY, I'd get married again 
Wife: So would you live in our house?
Husband: Sure, it's a great house !
Wife: Would you let her take my jewellery? 
Husband: No, I'm sure she'd want her own
Wife: Would she wear my shoes? 

Husband: No, her size is 7 
 
 Wife: (Silence)   
 Husband: Oh Geez :|

 

 
 
 

---

Oh, and another cool thing. :D Every gamer would love this i guess :P 
 
 

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Awesome giveaway! I'm in.
 
An old man keeps seeing his elderly neighbor lady check her mailbox every 5 minutes, so he catches her and asks her why she keeps checking her mailbox every 5 minutes, the lady says, "My computer keeps telling me I have mail".

Awesome giveaway! Karma+
This thread is great if even just for the jokes.
 
Funny story: I was playing a game two nights ago and my 5 year-old twin boys were watching me play. After a bit one asks me" Dad, why do bad guys sometimes swear?" Before I could answer, the other twin chimes in "Maybe because their moms aren't around."

Very generous Candle_86. Hope this makes you laugh.
 
Joe takes his Canadian cousin to a baseball game. Baseball is new to the Canadian, so Joe is explaining the game as it goes.
The visiting team's pitcher throws four bad pitches, and the batter tosses his bat toward the dugout and starts walking to first base.
The Canadian jumps up and shouts, "Run, man, run!"
Joe pulls him back down and explains, "No, he gets to walk, he has four balls."
The Canadian jumps up again and shouts, "Walk with pride, man, walk with pride!"
 

 
 

I will give a subtle warning to watch the language in this thread.

On some air bases the Air Force is on one side of the field and civilian aircraft use the other side of the field, with the control tower in the middle.

One day the tower received a call from an aircraft asking, "What time is it?"
The tower responded, "Who is calling?"
The aircraft replied, "What difference does it make?"
The tower replied "It makes a lot of difference.
If it is an American Airlines flight, it is 3 o'clock.
If it is an Air Force plane, it is 1500 hours.
If it is a Navy aircraft, it is 6 bells.
If it is an Army aircraft, the big hand is on the 12 and the little hand is on the 3.
If it is a Marine Corps aircraft, it's Thursday afternoon and 120 minutes to "Happy Hour."

    
        
        
    Affiliate Code: 33O-KIS-VCNG

This is all I got:
 

You know what they call a cow with no legs....?
 
Ground beef.
 
Told that joke to my cousin years ago and he said thats what made him be a vegetarian. Made me laugh so hard its sad but funny.
 
Anyway thanks for doing this giveaway and the opportunity to enter I know I won't win. I've never won anything in giveaways haha but again thanks.

What a great giveaway. You are a saint!
 
4 out of 5 Paranoid Schizophrenics believe the 5th one is after them.

Awesome give-away bro.  Ill try my hand...
 
Woman walks into a bar sees a man drinking alone up at the bar she walks up says what are you drink the man replies magic beer.  She says whats so magic about it He says watch he gets up and flies around the room.  She looks at the bartender says ill have what hes having.  She slams the beer down climbs up on the roof jumps off and falls to her death.  The bartender looks back at the man and says Wow superman you are a (word) when you are drunk.

Wow you are awesome ;)
I from the UK so... (guess this can double as my funny LOL)
 
IF UK <> problem THEN allow_enter_giveaway
ELSE GOTO SUPPORT
SUPPORT = SHOW-MESSAGE "I understand, shipping to the UK is expensive ;)"
 
I guess I could offer to pay shipping ;)

sorry Firefox was hangin...