I'm the guy with the GTX 460. I'll explain a little more about my experiences with BF3. (Yes my card is older but we're here about a 1GB Vram limitation so I feel my experience will help you)
I have a 1080p monitor I use at home to play on and I have a 22in @ 1680x1050 I take to friends houses for LANS and so on. When I'm on my 1080p monitor my Vram is at 990-1001ish. On my 22in its at 920-960ish. This is when on all High settings with HBAO and AA off. This is all while getting 40-60 fps on the 1080p and 50-70 fps on the 22in. Yes I could go to ultra but the decrease in fps would make it very unplayable for me and I assume you as well.
Right before release of BF3 DICE released pictures of what the landscape would look like in Low/Med/High/Ultra. You could see a difference in low and med but comparing High and ultra you couldn't see a difference at all unless you actually stared at the picture noticing the tiny changes between the two photos. So unless your going to just stare at the landscape I recommend trying High settings and see for yourself if you even notice the difference when your in a large battle. In one of the press conferences DICE did they even said that High is meant for 1GB and Ultra is meant for 1.5 GB+.
This game is very much a resource hog even for my specs and not to sound like an a**hole right now but the GTX x60 lineup is a budget performance card. So your kind of getting what you paid for, I couldn't squeeze anymore performance out of my card even if I wanted to. The only absolute way for me to get even a single fps more out of my rig is to lower my settings slightly or to upgrade my GPU. The rest of my rig can last me years and years buy when it comes to BF3 my GPU has hit its limit. But this isn't stopping me from playing the game at all. Heck even at our resolutions AA isn't really noticeable unless once again you just stare at the landscape.
*As to adding my 2 cents in about what you should do with the 2nd card all depends on what you choose to do graphically. If you choose to try out High instead of Ultra and stick with it then yes you should keep it because you'll still have a very beautiful game and get high frame rate out of it. I myself am content with my rig and really don't see a point in upgrading even when Kepler arrives just because I'm already getting very nice fps anyway and me getting anymore wouldn't enhance my game play or add to how beautiful the game is.
But.. if you do absolutely want more graphics and max out every setting in your game (trust me I was there myself a few years ago) then I recommend returning your current card and either find the cash for the 570 or if you can wait for kepler to appear because the Kepler 660 is suppose to be equivalent to a 570 and be even cheaper then what the 570 is right now.
Edit: To reply on your last post about future games being resource heavy I will give you my opinion on trends I have noticed over the years of PC gaming. Games will always become more and more resource heavy, the software will be developed first then the hardware will catch up to play the game well, I'm sure some people may argue with me on that statement. I don't know how knowledgeable you are on PC gaming but Crysis was the game back in 2007/2008 that crushed everyone's computers expect for the PC enthusiast. Even then not many games even went up to that level of resource intensity for a long time until recent years. Heck most games still aren't anywhere close.
BF3 has set the new bar in modern games for resource heavy. What ever BF sequel comes out will most likely be at the exact same level. By then most of us would of purchased the latest hardware as it became cheaper and upgraded our machines to run this game smooth as butter. Anyone can run this game its just how much eye candy do you want and how low in fps can you handle.
<message edited by jj509 on Thursday, March 01, 2012 2:55 AM>
Asus P8Z77-v Pro
I5 3570K @ 4.1Ghz (for now)
2x4gig GSKILL Ripjaw DDR3 1600mhz
EVGA GTX 670 FTW
Vertex 4 256 GB
9 TB worth of storage drives
windows 7 pro 64-bit
Thermaltake Toughower 750W